Dirty Words

Now that I have a child I've been thinking of all kinds of parenting things, like what I'll do when Virginia comes out with her first "bad word."

I would love to take the approach of saying that "bad words" don't exist. Words can't hurt you and they only have the weight that you let them have. Why should someone exclaiming "shit" be any worse than someone exclaiming "poop." (I've actually heard a pretty good defense of "shit" as the best curse word to use if you must.)

But the thing is that all words have the value society has assigned to them. For language to work we can't be like Humpty Dumpty and insist that words can mean whatever we want them to mean. And I know that as much as I would like to, I don't really not believe in "bad words."

The real problem with "bad words" isn't that they mean nothing. It is that each has a very specific meaning and too often people don't actually think about what they are saying. Yeah, if you stub your toe and you just have to shout something, maybe "shit" isn't so bad. But if you are cursing at someone - well, you are cursing them. You are wishing something bad upon them or calling them a name. Now we aren't talking about the word anymore. We are talking about intent. This is the heart of the problem.

Here sound and sense are closely united and the word itself is almost completely bypassed. We speak these words with venom and mean them to sting. But do we always mean what the words themselves are supposed to mean?

In pondering all this I have determined I should try and turn potential cursings into blessings. That person in the next lane committing X, Y, or Z driving sin? Bless his heart. Yeah, we in the South know the connotations of that phrase, but maybe if I say it enough I'll mean it.